In the head of an exam guard

Do you ever wonder what's going on in the head of an exam guard (the person watching over the students sweating over tricky examinatory queries whilst sipping coffee/whatnot out of a thermos)?

Well, let me enlighten you. I had exam watch-duty last friday. Armed with a thermos of coffee containing roughly 9x the usual amount of coffee I drink in one day, I brooded for four hours over nine diligent Human Factors in Production-students. Meanwhile, I tried to get some article reading done, but what happened was that I started writing down participant observation notes. I present them now to you as a look into the head of an exam guard.

14:00
The exam begins. I hand out test papers and check ID's (of which about 70% are foreign). Then I return to the desk at the front of the room and proceed to read an article. I look up every now and then to see if anyone has a question. Nope.

14:05
Working diligently, throwing the students a glance every now and then. Taking notes. Pouring coffee from my thermos very discreetly behind the front desk, wondering if that looks suspicious or not. Note to self: must launder these jeans.

14:45
First compulsive thoughts of badly needing to stretch. Am seized by inspiration: I want to design an experiment!

15:02
Have roughly sketched up an experiment setup for a model evaluation. Yay for me!

15:03
Ding-dong.
Someone's cell-phone text signal goes off. Ah, forgot to tell everyone to switch phones off. Dammit. The offender places the phone where I can see it. I'm cool.

15:12
My reseacrh article (Henriette) is being fed crumbs of insight as I read an article about endurance and recovery by Rose et al (2001).

15:24
Finished with Rose & al., 7 pages long. Not impressed by my reading speed (7 pgs i 1:24 hours?? come on...). Decide that now's a good time to take a break and read my newspaper (Metro).

15:30
Apparently not; I compulsively pick up and read another research article about a measurement method called EVA instead. (Why am i never compulsively diligent normally??)
I remember A's optician advice and stare far away into space for 20 seconds (so as not to overstrain my eyes).

15:40
First student leaves. It's the guy who got the text. He mumbles an apology about forgetting his phone. He then packs up to leave and proceeds to forget said phone on the desk ledge. I remind him in an impressively low whiskey voice (office-christmas-party-induced since night before) that he's forgotten his phone. (Ha ha)

15:50
I notice that when I photocopied the EVA article I'm reading, I was apparently wearing white (since the cuffs of my sweater are quite visible on all the pages).

15:52
I catch myself reading the EVA article (which is massively confusing) with a very screwed-up facial grimace. I jolt awake by this realization, but it seems the students are all concentrating on their writing.

16:32
I finally finish reading the Metro newspaper and discover that one student who has handed in her test has numbered the pages in an illogical manner. Question five is on page 1, question 1 on page 5... WTF?

16:38
Ugh, beginning to need bathroom. That's the major downside of being an exam guard - you're the only one confined to the room for 4 hours. But what would I be without the coffee...?

16:45
Walk around at the front of the room, take some water from a tap in a broom closet. Ugh. looks like the water is full of chalk dust... I hope it's bubbles.

16:46
Yep, just bubbles. But tastes eff...

16:47
Am bundling up the handed-in exams. Can't help but feel how GOOD it feels to have a pile of several hours' worth of other people's diligently produced WORK in my hands! Wow. (And I don't come off this power trip for a good few minutes...)

16:54
Am now reading an article by Phillips & Repperger, which I have scrawled WTF on in neon yellow as my first visceral reaction to its contents. (Lots of equations, brrr)

16:59
Staring 20 seconds into space. Aaaargh, too many medical terms in the article. I really need the bathroom. One exam hour left...

17:09
Thank God for Anthon Berg. Sugar = GOOD. Phillips and Repperger not as bad as I thought (Though I've only gotten throught the introduction). Two more students hand in exams and leave.

17:11
Wondering if this is my 9th cup of coffee.

17:15
Wonder if there exists such a thing as physioelectrical terminology?

17:16
WHOA! The lights in the room go off, since nobody's moving in here (ergo the sensor switches off the lights). Coool!! [sic]

17:17
Eeeeee too much coooffeeeee... [sic]

17:20
Yay, last student finished!

17:31
I have bundled up all the exams in a paper bag from Miss Fajitas, and am ready to go. I feel really old-school as I wipe off the chalkboard exam info with a damp sponge. Feels like a kind of... craftmanship. I use the wet sponge to draw an invisible Christmas monster on the chalkboard. Only the discerning will know.

17:32
OK, enough already. I leave. (And spend a fantastically nice evening at the bar Kontiki, listening to a friend's reggae band play a tiny but delectable show).