You know, I think I have been underestimating the rich resources that lie in the depths of my Gmail Spam folder.
No, I don't mean that I've decided to strike a bargain on c1al1s, drive my girlfriend wild all night (as suggested) or indeed to (as suggested numerous times) 'enlarge my package'. (I kind of like how my spam folder is so indiscriminate. Here be a haven of equal opportunities...)
What I'm talking about are the names of the 'people' who offer me these fantastic bargains. I mean, their NAMES. They sparkle. They flash. They reek of 80's soap-star royalty status!
Who could possibly deny an offer from Pearlie Underwood? Jamal Pagan? or indeed, Mamie Engels?
So if ever I decide to write a paperback novel or soap opera set in the jet-set age of the 80's, my entire cast of characters would be all set! Watch these daring and reckless stars in a dramatic twist of fate never seen before, in an all-star cast featuring:
Geneva Garland!
Gabriele Salisbury!
Napoleon Aldridge!
Nolan Rivera!
Dolf Heston!
Shelley Blankenship!
Diego Gardner!
Brianna Benoit!
Katina Fry!
Dazlo Hathaway!
Kurt Bacon!
Alejandro Curry!
Antoine Nix!
Porfirio Cline!
Phoebe Guevara!
Bonita Gabriel!
AND, in his debut: Dallas Kabangbang!
(honestly, the last one just kills me... X)
In fact, I doubt that I even have to write a script. I figure all you have to do is pair these people up two by two in different constellations and a never-ending drama will ensue simply from the combination of names.
Happy imagining... ;)
11/03/2008
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Jag tror du får svårt att använda karaktären Dallas Kabangbang i en dramaserie...
ReplyDelete"I'm so sorry Mr Kabangbang, but your wife didn't survive the operation"
Men i Scrubs skulle det ju funka!
Oh yeah? ;)
ReplyDelete"Dazlo Hathaway! I should have known I hadn't seen the last of you! Release Shelley Blankenship now, or I'll..."
{pistol click from behind}
"Not so fast, Mr Kabangbang. Mrs Guevara don't want any trouble in her house."
"Nolan Rivera and Napoleon Aldridge! I should have guessed."
"At any rate, Dallas, your time is almost up, unless you agree on the offer we made you the other day."
"Enlarge your device now, or get bombarded with drug offers with numbers instead of vowels for the rest of your life!"
"Curse you, I don't have a choice, do I?"
"Exactly. Now agree on our terms, or share the fate of the late Dolf Heston. "
"Holy Lev|tra! Do you expect me to take an offer like that seriously?"
"No, Dallas Kabangbang, we expect you to comply - or be deleted forever."
Jag erkänner mig ödmjukt utkunkurrerad i såpoperamanusskrivarbranschen :)
ReplyDeleteMen jag är fortfarande inte helt övertygad om att jag skulle kunna se den scenen utan att börja fnissa... Men är iscensättningen gripande nog kanske man dras med?
I may have to write an entire new set of music just so I can perform under the stage name:
ReplyDeleteDallas Kabangbang
This is... oh man. There are no words.