Words to set you free

Sometimes, people around us innocently plant words in our head that grow into something bigger.

I once received the biggest compliment of my life from E, who aside from being one of my closest friends is also frequently the voice of reason for me. So I listen to what she says. Anyway. I'm pretty sure she didn't mean it in any way other than its literal meaning, but she once told me:  

You're a bit of a shape-shifter.

Granted, she said this in response to my unexpectedly turning up to a coffee meet with ironed-flat hair, so she didn't recognize me at first. I remember dimly that the statement was also in reference to my wearing something slightly uncharacteristic of me too. But I remember that I really liked hearing it. It felt like a compliment. As I mulled the thought over (or rather, chewed on it, savoured it, blew it up and stretched it like bubble gum) for the months following it, it grew into something less of a testimony to my appearance and more like receiving a ticket that said:

All expected appearances and mannerisms attributed to your person have now been relinquished. Go forth at ease. 

I tried on the word from every angle and liked how it felt. I felt an increased freedom of movement. Freedom to feel OK to either meander a comfortably worn path one day, or take a step into an unexplored underbush the next. Free to build on my built-up skills, or free to take first steps as a beginner.

At the same time - Shapeshifter is a big thing to live up to. But I've found that in a quite natural way, I already play up and play down in response to the ideas I have in mind, which are caused by the times, the people around me and the surroundings. So rather than worry that I'm being inconsistent, a dabbler or not living up to a certain image - I've come to the conclusion that really, it's all there. And I can add to it. In any case, I'll always be expecting myself to remember that whenever I'm stuck in a place, there's going to be that changing-room door to open, which has a big star on it that says "Shapeshifter".

E - thanks for unlocking it. :)